Showing posts tagged with “personal”

well this weekend has been absolutely terrible with eating healthy and moving. haagen dazs chocolate peanut butter ice cream, carrot cake, big bowl of pasta, and just pure junk. minus the pineapple which was probably the healthiest thing i’ve ate this weekend haha. i don’t feel well because of all the crap i’ve ate. yesterday i would say i practically binged which hasn’t happened in so long. whatever it’s over. lesson learned lol.

the good news is i’m not ending it on a bad note because i just went on the elliptical and did a tone it up video to get my motivation back for monday. i’m now going to go for a swim because i think the next couple of days are supposed to be crappy. 

bad body image days suck and should not exist 

well, my aunt that has been battling cancer for about 15 years now off and on passed away yesterday. i’m really sad and feel guilty about not visiting her while she was very sick because i haven’t seen her in a while. my parents are telling me it’s for the best because she looked so ill and not herself. it’s still hard though. i had a really good talk with my boyfriend last night though and i feel okay with what has happened. she has been in pain for so many years and while i’d much rather her be here she’s so much better off. 

feelin’ pretty fab

- worked an extra shift today. there’s an extra 6 hours woo~ 
- had my fav wrap for supper (grilled chicken, sweet chili thai sauce, cucumber, spinach) yum it tastes just like the mcdonald’s one. 
- biked 7 miles awyeah~ pretty good considering yesterday i only biked 2 miles and before that i hadn’t biked for well over a week. i always forget how good i feel after i bike so don’t know why i stop for a bit. 
- currently eating a mango fruttare bar and watching rookie blue

:)

today was a good day off

* work up at 5:45am and biked to the field because it was foggy&pretty
* fell back asleep until noon 
* retail therapy retail therapy retail therapy 

now the rest of the night i’m going to be out on the pool deck reading. actually, around 9 once it cools off a bit more i might go on a bike ride? yup.

so i’ve been paranoid about not getting butterflies when i kiss him anymore. i mean i guess i kind of do and i really do like him but i’ve been trying to talk myself out of dating him just because i’m not super nervous around him which must mean i don’t like him anymore?! silliness then i read this http://www.jessmccann.com/blog/?p=1020 i just realized i got butterflies so much in the beginning (back in november) because it wasn’t the right timing. i was constantly checking my phone because he was iffy about texting me back, ever haha then i’d get super excited when he would. 

idk anyone get what i’m saying?
i reallllly do like him but it feels weird to not be nervous around him. i’m so used to messing up what i’m saying or doing dumb things around guys but i’m 110% comfortable around him. so why do i think that’s a bad thing? also i think i’m content right now because when he broke up with me in december i was heart broken so i have wanted him since then and now that we’re finally back together as of a week ago) i feel weird? like it’s not real? i d k what i’m even saying. rambling over. i just hate that i’m trying to talk myself out of liking him because of something dumb.

kinda like no one from work knowing we’re dating. 
everyone has been asking us for the past month if we were back together even though he just asked me on the 13th lol. but i swear everyone treats your relationship like it’s their business and just constantly gossip so it’s probably best we keep it hush for a little bit. last time we were together people just constantly asked me things and i just no i can’t be bothered. i just went in to get my mom a coffee and one of my supervisors was like “oh just visiting your boyfriend?” “boyfriend??? nope i had to get my mom a coffee” ha ha haaaa.

winners is actually my favourite place to buy bras&undies (like a marshalls.) i was going to go to victoria’s secret today because i needed new ones but i probably saved $200 haha.
left to right- my favourite, calvin klein. it’s like a minty colour i love it. paid $14.99 and it’s $42.00 in stores.
- calvin klein matching set wow look at me adult $16.99 for bra ($44.99 in stores) and $5.99! for the underwear and it’s $26.00 in stores. the material of this set is ugggggghyes feels like you’re wearing nothing. i like the colour too. it’s a purple-y & gray mix? looks brown in this photo though. 
- gilly hicks bralette $3.00! $20 in stores
- little boxes of juicy couture thongs haha the package drew me in but $3.99 each and $10.00 in stores. ones this neon coral colour and one is navy. they’re lace with little hearts :)
so if you want good quality bras but don’t want to or can’t spend $50.00+ on one then check out winners, marshalls, etc! it’s a hit and miss but usually good for me. tbh i think victoria’s secret is overrated haha. unpopular opinion i’m sure but countless times i’ve spent over $75 on a single bra and it doesn’t last.

winners is actually my favourite place to buy bras&undies (like a marshalls.) i was going to go to victoria’s secret today because i needed new ones but i probably saved $200 haha.

left to right
- my favourite, calvin klein. it’s like a minty colour i love it. paid $14.99 and it’s $42.00 in stores.

- calvin klein matching set wow look at me adult $16.99 for bra ($44.99 in stores) and $5.99! for the underwear and it’s $26.00 in stores. the material of this set is ugggggghyes feels like you’re wearing nothing. i like the colour too. it’s a purple-y & gray mix? looks brown in this photo though. 

- gilly hicks bralette $3.00! $20 in stores

- little boxes of juicy couture thongs haha the package drew me in but $3.99 each and $10.00 in stores. ones this neon coral colour and one is navy. they’re lace with little hearts :)

so if you want good quality bras but don’t want to or can’t spend $50.00+ on one then check out winners, marshalls, etc! it’s a hit and miss but usually good for me. tbh i think victoria’s secret is overrated haha. unpopular opinion i’m sure but countless times i’ve spent over $75 on a single bra and it doesn’t last.

i haven’t been out on the deck all week.
got my book (the daniel plan, super excited to get reading it), bibles (i’m finally on the new testament so that’s exciting), sketchbook & lots of markers and pens (more not pictured in my backpack haha), iced coffee, water and music :)

i haven’t been out on the deck all week.
got my book (the daniel plan, super excited to get reading it), bibles (i’m finally on the new testament so that’s exciting), sketchbook & lots of markers and pens (more not pictured in my backpack haha), iced coffee, water and music :)

west coast

how easy is it to get around portland and seattle without a car? i mean me and my best friend went around los angeles for a week fine without a car… i was thinking about doing a west coast trip after coachella next year. since we’ll already be on the west coast why not take advantage of cheap flights & amtrak? san francisco, portland, seattle, and vancouver plus wherever around these cities. this is pretty far away but i’ve been thinking about it lately haha.

my church is starting this young adult (+18yrs) wednesday night thing where girls just hangout, bake, talk, etc and i’m really excited! it’s really hard to make friends once you’re done high school (and haven’t gone off to college) so this will be good for me.

him

he asked me to hangout today for the first time in so long. i’m always the one who asks so i stopped because i felt like if he wanted to he’d ask me every once in a while sooo…. and it worked lol.

it’s just a confusing situation.
i like him still so i’m really just torturing myself by hanging out with him as “just friends” but i like to hangout with him. i’d rather be his friend still then just a coworker. i think he still likes me but who knows because guys are confusing. i just wish it was different. i know we can’t date again because of his parents not wanting him to be with someone who is not “equal to him” (he has very christian parents) siiiggghhhhh. i know that if it was meant to be it’ll happen but yeah this sucks. the other night after work i told him exactly how i feel so at least that’s out there and no regrets lol.

tomorrow morning i’m going out for breakfast at this crepe restaurant with jen (my supervisor) and her sister :)))

then hanging out with him (i’d give his name but i’m paranoid lol)
he invited me to go to his church sometime but idk…….. we’ll see.

highlight of tonight’s bike ride - a june bug flying down my sweater and me almost ripping it off EW EW EW. on the plus side, 
10 mile ride yesterday
+ 7.5 mile ride tonight
i am well on my way to my 50 mile goal by saturday night. 
according to my HRM i burnt 623c on my ride tonight so WOO!

my supervisor from work is taking me to her church not this sunday, but the next. i’m really looking forward to it. i haven’t been to church since i was probably 13? but i’ve been reading the bible lately and was talking to her tonight about it and she asked me if i wanted to go. me and her share a lot of the same beliefs so i’m really looking forward to it!

life has been good lately :)